PREGNANCY BLUES Part 1

I guess when you miss your period for the first time, all bells start to ring in your mind. You start to ask yourself questions of whether or not you are pregnant.

For some people the feeling is amazing because the child is planned. But what happens when the child is unplanned?

Or the person you are going to have a child with is married and already has a family of his own?

Or perhaps the dad is happy and you are not ready to have a child. What do you do?

Do you just tag along and have the child, only for you to hate the child and abandon him/her?

Or do you just contact a fertility clinic and have an abortion or go to the streets and have a backstreet abortion without anyone knowing?

If you are a woman or a man who might be going through these predicaments, what do you do?

Share with me, I'd like to wear the "Sister Advice Cap"

Let's talk about this, maybe your solution is on my fingertips....

KIM EPISODES

WEEKEND SPECIAL

Kim & Duduetsang

When Brenda Fassie the unbelievably talented vocalist performed the song "Weekend Special", I was still a baby, but now that I have matured, I now truly understand exactly what the song says. I understand the "gist" of the song.

I then took it upon myself and  decided to perform this song with my band @ Shake's Club in Galeshewe previously known as Molifinyana. The crowd went crazy, the old men who were there were dancing and everybody sang the song. It made people happy, but then I asked myself, do these people understand the song, is it supposed to be a happy song, or does it have deeper meaning that only people who have been through the situation of being "weekend specials" would understand.

The song speaks of a woman or man's plea to a lover. This lover that only remembers of their existence during a weekend, a person who only longs for their love and affection on a weekend.

Brenda goes to explain how this person never comes around or calls from Monday to Thursday, and only makes a move on Friday nights.
What amazes me about this whole issue, is the fact that so many people in today's life have no problem being "Weekend Specials". In fact I can visualize how someone would tick the days off one by one until its weekend and the fun begins.

But I tend to like being a "Weekend Special", simply because I can do what I want and enjoy myself during a weekend. I can let my hair down and just be. During the week we are all busy with our work, our issues and basically drawing up strategies of how we are going to tackle this journey called "life". We take time to impress and do what is necessary for our lives to continue but come weekend, the ball just drops until Monday morning where most people are hang over (whether you consume alcohol or not) and can't wait for the day to end.

My weekends are always special, and this particular one I spend with a friend Duduetsang and her daughter Gwen. The kind of hospitality I received was beyond words. I got a chance to bond, reminisce about home and listen to sound advice from a woman who actually made in Jozi against all odds.

We went from wine tasting in Sandton, to a big supper @ The Grillhouse in Rosebank and a night of live music from Dr Victor and the Rasta Rebels, by the way Dr Victor is also from Kimberley and the experience was exciting. The man is a born entertainer and @ his age, he still looks like he takes a bath in milk and honey!

The weekend was well planned and throughout the weekend visited a number of restaurants including "Pangeae" where we had nice bottles of Moet and Chandon Champagne and concluded the weekend with a nice pool session with the girls and a braai to die for.

I had an epic weekend, one filled with laughter and a lot of awkwardly beautiful moments. A time where one could let her hair down and live for the moment.

It is sad that when we are in this world, half of our days are filled with sorrow and pain. We panic about what tomorrow holds and forget the importance of living today. We are crowded by everyone problems and forget to make number one happy, number one which is me and you, you are your number one.

I believe that the day we stop panting and stressing about things that only need strategy, we will learn to understand the true meaning of self happiness, because it is quiet clear, if you are not happy, your miserable state of mind will turn on the people you claim to love. Sometimes we don't do it on purpose but because its a feeling kept inside,it just translates to the next person unplanned.

So my friends, when Brenda performed that song, she probably had observed the way life was like back then, and wanted to tell someone or some people that, I am more than you think I am. I am a creative and refuse to be available when you want me to be available. I have a life and choose not to be your "Weekend Special" to be used or abused by you simply because you have better priorities and better people to see during the week, and you have just reduced me to a booty-call.

But my weekend was truly special and I didn't mind being a weekend special to the people who love me and support my dreams and visions. I am originally special and if my weekend can be filled with wining and dining with great company and meeting great people who understand their purpose on this earth, than I would love nothing more than to stick to being " a weekend special"

A time where I dedicate my efforts to being happy and crazy and not feel apologetic about it.

I had a fabulous weekend, so should you!
"Share your weekend experience with me, I'd love to hear what you got up to"

Duduetsang

KIM

Duduetsang

KIM IN POOL

KlM EPISODES

I LOVE YOU BOO

You are the one I love
The last voice I want to hear before I go to dream land
The one I want to wake up next to
The arms I want to caress me
The lips I want to kiss me
The smell I find irresistible
The essence of my joy
The light of my life
My strawberry milkshake
My knight in shining armor
My blue cheese
My future
My life
In you I find peace
In you my creativity sparkles
In you I found my laughter
Even if we don't work out later
We worked out now
You are all I need to complete my picture
With you the puzzle is complete
You love what I am
The bubbly,sassy, and crazy me
My moose

I love you Boo

HILLBROW IS HELL

I recently had conversations with two people on facebook and as the relationship progressed we moved on to whatsapp and bbm. These two people seemed like associates that one could have especially when you are making "the big move to Jozi". I must say that these are the people who congratulated me after performances and my television appearances. This brought great comfort to my heart to know that there were even people outside of Kimberley,my hometown who appreciated my work.

So then I move to Johannesburg and started conversing with them and the first question was, where in Joburg? I then said "In Berea" and the answer was "MUTE". Now I asked myself why these people never responded back to me, but then as I started interacting with the locals, I found out that if you are coming from outside of Joburg and you want a job, or you want to impress some BEE's or even the people @ your home you need to turn into a liar.

You have to lie about everything! Where you stay (Sandton), what you eat (sushi), where do you hang out (Hyde Park), what labels you are wearing(Gucci),the kind of job you have (Manager), etc etc! These poor people have to lie because they live in the notorious Hillbrow!

Hillbrow well known for its vibe. A place everyone thinks is full of gangsters, magosha's, hobo's, drunkards and that all Nigerians are drug dealers. Well all of these activities do take place in Hillbrow but is it fair to generalize?

This stigma about Hillbrow is uncalled for especially in a developing country like South Africa. Do u know how much it costs to rent a flat a month just in Braamfontein? What about the fact that you have just arrived and have no income? Are u going to blow R5000 on one month's rent just so that you can be counted among the elite? Are u going to starve yourself for the sake of being called "iskhothane"? Well I think that would be rather stupid!

Hillbrow is a place that has given birth to great musicians, performers and people who are business minded. This community contributes enough to the economy of South Africa and helps to put Johannesburg on the map for being "South Africa's business hub".

This is a place where people understand the word "vukuzenzele", they wake up early and sleep late trying to create jobs for themselves and just to feed their families. Here you get street vendors everywhere selling fruits, vegetables, hair piece, nuts, second hand clothes, blankets etc etc. The competition is tough, so the businessman and women here understand how to pursue a person to buy because once you leave that shop, the next one will offer you a better price.

Yes it has it's dangerous spots, and yes it has some challenges but so does any other place. I bet Sandton is full of people now claiming to be all sorts of things only to scam unsuspecting successful business people who worked hard (maybe from Hilbrow), to build their empires.

So while you still sitting there doing nothing but being judgmental about Hillbrow lifestyle, know that there are men and women who work hard and are responsible. It is not the HELL some people make it out to be. It is a place that offers families a place to live @ an affordable rate and a place that helps people like us kick-start our careers in the mainstream.

Hillbrow is Central and is a walking distance to town, to the Windy-brow Theater, Joburg Theater, Market Theater and Museums around. This place some people call home and that will never change.

Right now I am gob smacked @ how narrow minded people can be, to actually force you to lie about who and what you are. We were not all born with a golden spoon in our mouths, so our circumstances will always be different and we need to respect that. How on earth are we all supposed to afford "the life"when jobs in South Africa are as scares as "manna from Heaven"?

Be realistic about your situation and appreciate the little things, for when the big things appear in your life, you can handle them with grace and multiply whatever it is you have without go phaphela zaka!

Hell or no Hell, I believe Hillbrow is as real as it gets. Whoever said when you come to Joburg you will find gold everywhere has lied to you. Here in Joburg, the gold is there but you have to go through the same mining method used in the 1800's before most of us where born. The gold is in a rock, you must work to make it a point that you get something out. You need to keep digging until something happens!

Hillbrow is no hell, its alive and LOUD, that's why you can't stop criticizing it because you wish you had the guts and determination the people who live here have!

I will never impress you, I speak my mind, so deal with it!

KIM EPISODES

I BELIEVE

I am afraid of the anointing on me. I fear the gifts and talents God has given me. I shiver @ the dreams I see manifest in front of my eyes. What I see is big, massive, enormous, much bigger than I ever imagined.  The visions I see of my future is so vivid that I blink @ its approach. It is so beautiful and wonderful. I have a vision of the greatness God is going to lift me to. A place I never imagined, a life I thought was too big, a dish I will never forget!

Help me father that I may be strong enough to carry this dream, to renew my thoughts and believe in your plan. For you called me by my name before I was conceived in my mothers womb. My Father you promised that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, for if you are for me, who can be against me. Your promises are “Yes”  and  “Amen”, and though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, I shall fear no plans of destruction for you will prepare a table for me in full view of my enemies and my cup will overflow.

I believe that you have brought me here to prosper and never, never, never, never, never, never and never to fail!

What do you believe about the power within you?

KIM EPISODES

MAATI!

This morning I woke up with a lump on my throat. The one you feel when when you want to speak but no words can come out. I am talking about that feeling you have deep inside you and cannot control, a time when you know your heart is broken and your tears are doing the talking.

I woke up feeling cold, miserable, confused and sad @ the kind of situation I am in. Looking around my surrounding there was nothing positive I could feel, except the feeling of failure.

My area is surrounded by homeless people who sleep in the streets with wet blankets due to the heavy rains that have been pouring in Johannesburg, the shops are crowded by "my friends", the shebeens are full as early as 9am, there are sounds of guns everywhere, a corner filled with drug users who are poor, but not poor enough to lack money to feed their habit, and funny enough there are police vans everywhere especially in these "drug areas".

I then wondered if this would ever change, if my voice will be big enough to make a difference, I wondered if this lump will ever "relax" and allow me to speak my mind.

Then I remembered that I am not alone, I have a companion, one I share my secrets with, one who understands me in every situation. I then took my phone and poured my heart out to her about the terrible night I had and a morning I thought would turn into a terrible day.

She simply said "my friend, you are not alone, I am here, so if you need to cry, do it, I will wipe your tears and help you recover". I broke down, as if she could see me, but I knew she could see me, I knew she could hear my cry, I knew she was also crying with me because she understands me. She is my sister, my friend, my accomplice, the one I love with all inside me.

She re-assured me that, so is life. You can never run the race alone. You need a friend, you need someone to listen, someone who cares and accepts you with all your flaws. Someone who knows how it feels to be alone in such a big planet, someone who is a part of you.

My friend Lesego Realeboga Mothobi proved to me that good friendships still exist. They never died, they still deep inside us. So if we can just reach that place that is full of love, support, care and is truly genuine, we would be able to nurture our friendships to reach a level of sisterhood!

I love you Shingo,you brightened up my day and made me see new perspective today. To know that my situation and my surrounding don't have to define me. You are my rock and I wish God grants you all your hearts desire. Thank you for saying "I am here"

Genuine Friendships are Ayooba!